Stopping Self-Destructive Behaviors: Mindset Myth Debunked

Success is 80% psychology and 20% mechanics. 80% mindset and 20% action. 80% thinking and 20% doing. 

What does this mean and why is this principle universally accepted in real estate investing?

Simply put, the amount of time spent on your business is not directly proportionate to the success of your business.

Someone who works 12 hours days is not by default going to be more successful than someone who works 12 hour a month. 

Trevor McGregor, my personal coach, talks about the events leading up to action. First, there is a thought. Then, there is an emotion. Then, there is an action (or no action). 

The actions we take are based on our thoughts and resulting emotions, every single time.

Therefore, our quality of thought (i.e., our mindset) is the only factor that determines our actions. So technically, success is 100% mindset.

Whenever I speak with someone on the Best Real Estate Investing Advice Ever show and the topic of mindset comes up, I always want to know what actions listeners can immediately take in order to improve their all-important mindset.

Recently, I spoke with a guest who provided unique insights into how we can effectively improve our mindsets and ultimately stop self-destructive behaviors. The reason it was unique was because it goes against the conventional wisdom – that we can improve our mindsets by ourselves. No help is required. All we need to do is journal, mediate, or work more and BOOM, our problems are solved.

However, this is impossible. 

As I stated above, all actions are caused by our thoughts. There is no getting around it. Good thoughts lead to good action. Bad thoughts lead to bad action. Therefore, to overcome bad habits, you need to alter the cause – the bad thoughts.

Since all you have are your thoughts, how can you overcome your bad thoughts with your bad thoughts? It is not. Bad thoughts beget bad thoughts beget even worse behaviors.

That is why the help of outside factors is the only way to transition from bad thoughts to good thoughts. 

There are many obvious ways to accomplish this, like books, seminars, and mentorships. But Vahan Yepremyan provided a unique approach during our interview.

He said to ask someone close to you “which of my actions are holding me back from being successful?” Rather than attempting to subjectively determine your had habits, enlist the help of an objective third-party. Ideally someone who knows you extremely well and is more successful than you.

Once you’ve identified your bad habits, you need to determine if the cause of the habits are based on fact or fiction. 

A simple example is public speaking. Let’s say you ask an investor friend “which of my actions are holding me back from being successful?” and they say, “you aren’t picking up the phone enough to cold-call apartment owners” or “you have not started that thought leadership platform yet”.

Your immediate thought is, “well, that’s because I am afraid of speaking to stranger.” 

What is your justification for that fear? And what is the evidence for that justification. 

Maybe you are afraid to say something stupid. Well, have you said something stupid while public speaking in the past? And if so, what were the ramifications? Unless it killed you (which I assume is not true since you are reading this blog post), then your justification is usually based on a fictional, fabricated story, or at best partial truths.

Creating a new story based on reality may be as simple as becoming aware of the false one. Other times, it may require further help from outside factors. Following the example above, you may need to take a public speaking course or ask a friend to punch you in the face if you don’t cold-call a certain number of owners per week.

Overall, all bad actions are caused by bad thoughts. In order to overcome bad thoughts, you need the help of outside factors to identity your bad actions and thoughts. Then, you need to become aware of the story behind those thoughts. 

And the best way to accomplish this is with the help of objective, third parties who know you well and are already successful. They can help you identify the bad habits which you (and your bad thoughts) likely deny and help you create positive thoughts by altering the story.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog post are provided for informational purposes only, and should not be construed as an offer to buy or sell any securities or to make or consider any investment or course of action.

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Joe Fairless